To have courage, you must have the ability to take action
against fear. This sums up my transition
from State CAT1 to my First Pro Mtn Bike Race that took place in Prescott at
the Whiskey Off Road 50 Miler. Up
against the largest Pro category, arguably in the world, I stuck my head out of
my shell and dabbled amongst the big girls for the very first time.
Over the last year, I've been racing the state races, CAT1-
expert field. I had been racing local endurance events, 24 hour races, Xterra
Triathlons. All very challenging in
their own way and coming out ahead of the crowd (mostly). After time there exists a comfort zone, a
familiar zone that we all enjoy and perhaps take for granted. Although I was winning these races, I'd come
off depressed for days, weeks at a time. Friends would wonder why. "Why are you down about your races when
you are doing so well?" Well it's
all relative. The more racing and the
more training I'd completed, the more comfortable I was racing these races. I
argued that I'd rather be training than racing. What?! Really? When I spoke
these words for the first time I shocked myself because I live to race. Or once
did! Did I really allow myself to get
stuck in this manner? That I enjoyed my
comfortable training routine that much? Racing wasn't exhilarating?!
Friends, Family, other racers, poked and prodded me over the
last few months. Why haven't you applied for your pro card yet? Well I didn't deserve it yet, I would argue
back. "I'm not ready, I'm not there. The other girls are stronger." As
months of these comments wore on though, I started to reflect further on the
idea. I applied for the pro mountain
card for a few factors. First, I do not
want to hide from fear. I wanted to take action against it. Second, I wanted to
seek out the exhilaration of racing at a higher level no matter where that
might place me at first. Lastly, I want
to grow and become stronger and competing aka getting my ass slaughtered by
this new level of girls will help me get there.
I was afraid, I am afraid, and I will remain afraid, but I hope to find
the ability to take action against it and eventually start to succeed again.
In summary, my first Pro mountain bike race, The Whiskey Off
Road, contained a 30K prize pot split evenly between male and female down to 10
slots and it is held in beautiful Prescott, AZ and on award winning single
track. It brings out the toughest field
from all over the nation. These girls
are no joke as the spanked me hard in
the Fat Tire Crit which is the weekend's qualifier event held Downtown Prescott
Friday night and then again come race day Sunday morning. These girls look normal. They are not. They are beasts, but
the kindest of beasts I've ever met. They all support each other and also want
to see their field get stronger.
Although I saw them take off on me into the distant. I still laid down a good time for the course,
but against this larger field, it was only enough to land me a second from last
place finish.
I came off course knowing that I had given it everything I
had. There was a few moments where I had to adjust my attitude and overcome the
lows. There were times where I almost felt the muscles in my legs tear in half
and was fearful that they just might do so with every next pedal stroke. There were also times where I felt great and
I pounded through beautiful trees, jumped down logs and boulders, climbed up to
beautiful vistas, splashed through cool streams. By the time I made it to the finish line, I
was beat up, hammered into almost nothing, but I had a huge smile on my
face. Never before have I been able to
compete at such a level and I consider the fact that I over came my fear that
weekend to race, a success in itself.
Now I am ready to take myself to the next level, to become
stronger and stronger each and every day.
I have great support here in my community. Old Friends and New Friends that continuously
push me to be a better person in
multiple aspects of my life. I'm a very lucky girl. Perhaps next year I will return to the
Whiskey Off Road Line and hold those girls for a while longer. Perhaps I will
place mid pack? Perhaps they will look
back at me on course and go "Wow! She is still on my tire!" Perhaps.... Perhaps.
The fear will drive my action to be courageous, to give it
all I have and see where I land in the new few years.
